Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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