More tranny stories later!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
