let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
