i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
