Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
