she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
