I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize