he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
