just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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