i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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