sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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