God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
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Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
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You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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