drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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