why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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