Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your penis caused this!
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