I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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