This girl is more easily done than said...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
