mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
