I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
