You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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