Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
