Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
