I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
