He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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