just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sober January is a disaster.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
