he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize