That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
