Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
