I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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