I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
