If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
