she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
