Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
