I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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