Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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