even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
