I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
