I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
