why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
