She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
