he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
