no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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