Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
