I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize
