I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
