whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
organizing the empties. That sober.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
