is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
