We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
