I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
