I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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