Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
