im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
