if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
