I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
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Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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