worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize