she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
