If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
