I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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