and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
