They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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