Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize