i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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