apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
