dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
