Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
