My room smells like vodka and shame
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
