Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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