You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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