So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
