remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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